One Simple Secret Psychological Trigger to Make Your Ex Want You Again

If you’ve recently been dumped, you know as well as I do how tough it can get to get your ex to want you again. Often, they don’t even return our calls, texts or emails. Obviously this makes getting back together really tough. If you can’t talk to them, you can’t solve the issues or correct what was wrong, or ultimately be together again.

Or can you?

Before we talk about how this one simple psychological trigger can change things for you in an instant, let’s see how we usually go about getting back with someone we love. And wrap our minds around why it never works.

Usually we tell them how much we love them, how much you miss them, and how much you’re willing to change. The problem with this is you’re trying to change their MIND. Imagine this (if you’re a girl): some guy walks up to you and gives you a list of all the reasons you should have sex with him.

Imagine this (if you’re a guy): a girl walks up to you and gives you a list of all the reasons you should fall in love with her. Would that work? Probably not.

Because, attraction and desire are subconscious mind behaviors and reason and logic are conscious mind behaviors. See, you’re literally speaking the wrong language. Juste comme essayer de parler français à quelqu’un qui il ne parle pas. (Just like trying to speak french to someone who doesn’t speak it).

Literally talking to the wrong part of the brain. So what do you do? Instead of changing their mind, you learn to change their MOOD.
Every thing we do, every behavior we engage in, is based on our mood. You know this is true in your own life. You’re more likely to do things for people if you’re in a good mood. Listen, the key to getting your ex interested in you is changing their mood. If you’re willing to have a little patience and a little courage, it can change for you in an instant. I’m going to teach you how to do it right here:

After a breakup, your ex probably feels some negative feelings (anger, bitterness, or just tired of seeing you) toward you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have broken up. If you call, text, email, send FB messages, show up to see them, what feeling are you reinforcing? That’s right. Not the ones you want. You want them to let those negative feelings subside, so they can remember the good.

  • The good memories.
  • The good jokes.
  • The good times of intimacy.

And with the seeds of these memories (instead of the reminders of frustration, anger, whatever) sprouts up a beautiful thing called desire. And that desire is what makes them MISS YOU. You know this is a psychological trigger by experience. You know it works, because it’s worked on you. With your ex not returning your calls, being unavailable and not around, does it make you want them more? Of course it does.

Now, you’re going to use the same trigger to your advantage. This is the real power of the NC acronym. And it’s important for you to know where the power comes from. Because it arouses the same primal instincts that have been driving you crazy since you broke up.

Here’s what I want you to:

  • Don’t contact them.
  • Not by phone.
  • Not by email.
  • Not by carrier pigeon.
  • For at least three weeks.

If you do that, and allow this powerful psychological trigger to work for you, you’ll find your ex is suddenly feeling the seeds of desire growing for you again.

Related posts:

Love Isn't Enough
Women - Get Ex Back - How To Get A Guy To Fall In Love With You and Make Him Commit
How To Get My Ex Back - A Powerful Sentence For Persuading Your Partner

About Reunited Relatiohships Advice

Comments

63 Responses to “One Simple Secret Psychological Trigger to Make Your Ex Want You Again”
  1. Andrew Martin says:

    I agree with the NC rule totally; however, I also believe that should you desire to resurrect the relationship you do need to make yourself ‘available’ sometime for LC otherwise the ‘ex’ will decide to leave for good as they may believe that there is no longer any interest from you and will permanently move on.
    I have been apart from my ex for near on 5 months now; although we were together for 11 years, so I find this difficult to handle although I manage my situation well. She has a new Bf which happened within days /week of us parting and whom spouted their love for one another equally fast. They also live in different parts of the country and only see each other weekends.
    She has told other people close to both of us that she does not want me to know that she has a new BF and to this day I have not broached the subject or let her know that I know she has a new guy in her life (Which effectively should be none of my business anyway). So officially to me she has no BF? I don’t know why she has opted not to tell me as I am not the type that would flip etc (and she knows this). Furthermore; she says she is so desperate to stay friends with me she has actually said she could not live without me as a friend? But I don’t want to be her crutch while she works on her new relationship (Eases out of one guy into another guy).
    I have never made an effort to contact her in any way and all contact is initiated by her. The first few months of being apart we had very little, if any contact and I maintained a stance of NC. Now over the past few months she has started to email me much more frequently; initially once every three weeks, then two weeks and now down to emailing me once a week. I don’t rush to respond and her emails are all about her. I don’t divulge anything I don’t have to and my response is as Michael Griswold says, patience, pleasant, light, flirty, jokey and then throw in the odd subconscious memory switch. And with no inference for my feelings for her.
    I don’t truly know whether I am getting there. Only she knows but I have great belief in myself.
    NC does work but you do need some LC, patience and a definite disciplined game plan if you want to stand any chance of winning them back into your life.

    • Julia Coward says:

      plz help…i need some advice…i am trying so hard to stick to no contact…..but again i have txted him…….he never replies….but yesterday he confused me again saying he didnt mean it he still wants me to stay in contact….i said i cant now hes trying to rub the girl he cheated on me at his work with back in my face…..he is so angry and i am gonna do no contact from today but is it too late? he told me to erase his numbers now and is doing lots of xxxxxxx to her on facebook…..i am in pieces and dont know what to do…….its been 2 months since we split but so far hes kept me hanging on…..and yesterday he threw in my face in anger about me just going off and finding loads of blokes to date…..what does it all mean? i am feeling now like there is no hope and i have lost the love of my life forever

      • Paul says:

        U have to ask yourself the question, do u want to be with someone that cheats? We all have been through breakups before with people we love but time is your friend, i would recommend cutting all contact with him, heal up and clear your mind and get your life into gear.

        I took one of my exs back that cheat on me and they did it again and again, totally destroyed me and took about 5 years to get over it.

      • Mel says:

        Wow so tough !! It is so hard to do Nc but every time you reach for the phone remember how the last time went. Pause and imagine the repition of last time. My bf broke up with me yesterday lately he has been distant begging me for space and me begging him to spend time with me all I got was an uglier heartbreak because I clung to hope that I could make him love me again by him spending time together. When we got in an argument over his ex staying a few weeks at his soon to be our place he finally said were over. This time I did not beg I said okay and did not allow myself to be weak when he could hear me. I sent him one single message this morning saying he was right we have problems he needs time maybe one day we can be friends good luck. It was short and sweet. He called me tonight asked me to forgive him he wanted to hear my voice…and I played it cool I listened answered his questions straightforward and when a silence grew I said I was busy this time I did not ask him to call again I did not say I loved him. I could hear a change when I called he sounded like he used to like he loved me. I don’t know how things will be for us or for you but the point is you need to be strong get fed up think of YOU! Then you will have control. Realize there is someone out there for you but once you have the upper hand he will start to worry because he doesn’t know if you are still. Clinging to him or moved o. That’s what NC does. Makes you powerful and you may see you deserve Better but probably only once you are in control.

  2. Stacey Crosby says:

    The NC ides sure worked for me. Well i think it did. i went 3 weeks without speaking to my ex while i was doing everything I needed to do to work on myself. I felt much better, more confident, and knew she would notice. I saw her in town and decided I would just stop by real quick and say hello. she was very plesant and kind to me, and I asked if she wanted to get together in the next week or so to just catch up……… and she said sure. But I left too soon without setting up a time and place. Then to my suprise, I got a call from her the next night after midnight with her crying telling me she missed me. Once again I cut the conversation short so it didnt turn into anything bad. The next day i did speak with her mother and she told my ex was a little drunk when she called. I did speak with her later that day to see how she was doing, but again I left without setting up a time to meet up. So the NC does work, I just wish I knew what to do now without me sounding needy.

    • Adan Sanchez says:

      You need to read the M3 system, it tell you in it how to approach her in a way that she will call you back after the three weeks, how to set up a time to meet, what to wear, and how to act, not really act but be the guy she feel in love with the first time you went out ( Conficence ) … I play the M3 system all the time to keep it installed in my mind.

  3. kirk says:

    well i am looking for help ,i recently came up with a plan on how to get my girlfriend back, which backfired, i told her that i won the lottery and i sent her a picture of the lotto winning ticket, she wouldnt stop calling and texting me, she said she wanted to tell me how she felt in person, but i got to cocky and then all she ended up telling me is that she misses me, she just wants to be single for now and friends”fornow” i told her that i loved her and i wanted to marry her, and i asked her , what about all the promises you made me? what about ull never leave me? well stick together through thick and thin? well have more kids and get married? were those all a lie, and she said no! i said then why cant you promise that we will get back together and she said because she wants to find herself, that dosent make any sence!? how could you tell some one that you are keeping your pomises when you tell them that you arnt at the same time! wtf is going on! and she also said she was afraid i would find some one else, i and told her the same, but she said she dosent want anyone else right now she just wants to be single, what i am i suppost to do. we didnt exactly do no contact, but thats because we havea child togethere……

    • Adan Sanchez says:

      You can use LC (Limited Contact) Its in the M3 system, you need to buy the course, Beleave me it will help you if you dont live with them, live with them, work with them, have a child together… Trust me!

  4. china says:

    Hi, I tried the no contact rule but then I caved after two weeks because it was working really really well. but he has started seeing this other girl. he even said maybe he made a mistake but then i made the mistake of making myself too available before the three weeks were up. i am pretty much starting over from scratch and he said i was the best girl he’s ever been with to my friend. should i just start over? would it take more than three weeks? we decided not to talk to each other for some time and i caved because something devastating happened to him and i wanted to be there for him but he still hasn’t called me back. do i just leave him alone until he figures out his feelings?

  5. matttd18 says:

    I have a question, and just wanted some other opinions. What do you think it means if your ex girlfriend is trying to impress you? Like she using doesn’t wear girly clothes. But last night she wear a dress, and she never wears a dress. She used to wear dresses for me when we were together. Also it was cold last night and she wanted me to hold her and keep her warm. It also seems like she is trying to make me jealous. I’m just so confused. She was the one that broke up with me. She said she didn’t love me anymore, and because she had to focus on college. But the thing is I see her every weekend. And when I see her, she always tries to play around with me, and flirt with me. Like if we watch a movie together she will lean towards me and lay on me. I asked if she wanted to get back together and she said it feels good and right, but it is just not the right time. I’m assuming college. But if anyone could give me some advice I would really appreciate it. I am just so confused right now that I do not know what is going on in her head.

    • raysar says:

      Actually, you’re letting your ex have her cake and eat it too. The longer you do this the longer it will take for your ex to figure out what she really wants. It’s called tough love- what you have to do. She has to become an adult-learning that you are too worthy to have her dangling herself in front of you and being with you one minute and not all the time that you want to be together. You should take the time she wants to spend with you for yourself and have fun at those times. She will come around real quick if it is meant to be. Sorry to say, but if it is not meant to be that you two be together, you will know in several months.

    • Paul says:

      When a girl makes an effort to dress nice, wear perfume, she isn’t trying to get your jealous but trying to impress you.

      Allot of people don’t know what they want where you are talking to her on a conscious level, you should just leave it and not talk logic. Give it sometime and i’m sure she will develop deeper feelings for you than at this time u can ask her. If she continues to play games, you can continue with her not sure what she wants or u can move on! It’s on or it’s not on!

  6. jesse pollman says:

    i am currently on 2 days of no contact and i have seen no results hahaha but i didnt expect much after 2 days i just miss her so much and i am so afraid she will fall more for the guy she started dating and slept with 3 days after our breakup im afraid i am in too deep

    • Donna Alfajora says:

      he left me October 31, 2010…. after approx two weeks of no contact.. he called Nov 11, to see how im doing, and make sure im eating well, and call him or txt if i he doesnt answers…. i waited for one day .. then i called back and left a msg that” im doing fine. and im taking time for myselft.. its great to hear from you , but you and i should get some space and take some time.. and then we can talk .. ” its been one week since i left that msg. im so scared. my intension of calling back is so that he doesnt think im resentfull.. cuz i was following a different course back then .. but after purchising this course yesterday, i dont even know if that is the right move… is it the right move???? help !

      • Paul says:

        by you pushing him back it’s increase desire and attraction for you. ask yourself the question, what if it was u that call and your ex said u need space and some time before you can talk. they are strong confident words, u did the right thing!

    • Steve Ellis says:

      Its hell I have been there trust me….but you have to tough it it…and make it easier on yourself by focusing on you and start dating…thats what i did and then after 3 weeks do what michael ays…follow it by the book and it will works…it did for me…it took 8 weeks but eventually she was in my arms telling me she craved me all that time and how much she loved me.
      She wanted the old steve back ( i became miserable and boring ) and it was down to me to sort myself out and get there which i did.

      Go for it and definately date one or two girls not so much to make her jealous…my ex didnt know about them…more for you own confidence and to take your mind off her for a while.

      Cheers

      Steve UK

    • raysar says:

      you miss someone who sought out someone else right after you broke up? I doubt it. I bet you miss the person you broke up with or who broke up with you. Don’t you want it to work next time? Well, then, let her do what she wants-it isn’t going to last if she is with someone on the rebound. These rebound realtoinships last 8 months max. Can’t wait that long-probably won’t have to do so if you do the no contact and only reply with generalities if she contacts you. Like, “I am fine.” Hope you are well… Don’t be asking questions. Let them lead. They are unsure of what they want and don’t want to be pushed. If you ask questions or say anything you are pressuring them.

  7. aster112 says:

    This is a very good strategy I have to admit. But one thing that bothers me is that for women ‘Men are supposed to be the persuers’ How would you get in touch with your ex if you’re a woman? If I call him after three weeks doesn’t that reverse the roll? In other words, why would I persure my ex if I want him back, he is a guy? Isn’t that going to chase him away more? I am just on my first week and not sure how to contact him. Extremely difficult I have to say!

    • Adan Sanchez says:

      Just give him the three weeks to get past his negative feelings about the relationship, and he will start to remeber all the good times after you give him his space. If he calles you dont answer, if you do want to make it short and wait a day or so, and text him something like, ” seen that you called, been really busy, hope your doing well.” That will keep the momentum goin.

  8. RV says:

    All of you need to get a grip. Do no contact it works! Stop giving them your power. Then work on your life date others hang with friends don’t waste your time moping and thinking about them. Yes it IS hell and you will either get them back or get over them.

    For the ladies NEVER chase your ex boyfriend that is ridiculous and he doesn’t have respect for you except as a FWB, you know, a F buddy. NOTHING stops a man from contacting a woman he desires IF HE WANTS YOU HE WILL CONTACT YOU that is it, plain and simple. If he’s not contacting you he’s moved on after all, there are SIX BILLION PEOPLE in the world. It hurts like hell and things get better. Stay classy and remember men like to chase that is their nature if he wants you he will contact you if not, he won’t.

    Men. Do three weeks no contact. Then, if you really want her back and can afford it send flowers with a card saying-thinking of you. Make sure the flowers have a gorgeous smell not some normal roses with no scent. The aroma will trigger in her a desire for you.

    My story-broke up with alcoholic bf of a year and a half in July 2010. We did not live together but were raising 2 kittens together. it was a tough summer I cried and felt lonely for a very long time. Did not have a rebound relationship!! Finally got over him at the beginning of November. Single and light dating no sex yet. Guess who called November 20 when I was out at a singles dance? The ex, making a fool of himself drunk dialing. He lost the opportunity to have my love and if he thinks a dumb phone call will win me over he is mistaken.
    If he had sent fragrent flowers in the first month I would have caved in and taken him back now I have moved on mentally.

    • Paul says:

      I never chase women, everytime i did they always run away and i’m 30 y/o and dated many women. If a girl is interested, they will contact me back than ill make the effort to contact them!

      Another thing i normally do is bait, i would send them 1 sms and talk, than i won’t contact her ever again until she contacts me. It has worked like magic!

      There is always someone chasing someone in a relationship, if a man doesn’t it 2 much, she will run away and not come back. Men should be in the power position cause it’s equals attraction, women should be doing the chasing.

      I keep telling all my mates this, as soon as your women carries the balls in the relationship it’s over!

  9. Troy Taylor says:

    I have a unique situation. I have a newborn with my ex and she started dating this guy when she was 7 months pregnant. I have tried the no contact rule and try to keep everything business, but I want to see my daughter. after one week of following the plan, she has done everything to make it difficult to see my daughter. I don’t have a problem working the plan but it is killing me not to see my daughter. How do I follow the plan and still have access to my daughter. I have been emailing her my schedule each week but she chooses days that I have limited time or no time at all. When I change my schedule she then picks another day.

  10. nick says:

    here’s a challenge for the NC and LC system….

    serious 3 yr relationship, both of use thinking of engagement, then communication dropped, distance crept in from her side, things fell apart, she jumped ship for another guy. I moved out.

    its been 4 months. had regular sporadic non productive contact via txt and phone which ended in mean texts and short unhappy phone calls. then I went silent.

    found this course and 3 weeks no contact till now…. I wasnt sure I wanted her back but in those 3 weeks decided I did, if we can grow a NEW relationship and both change for better.

    So heres the prob — she’s moved on with another guy and seems to think I have or will or doesnt care.

    How to I indicate that I want her back??

    went thru NC with good success – now in LC but seems she maybe just trying to tie up loose ends, you have this, have that lets trade (stuff from our house ). So I’ve been with cool confident LC…wanna make the right move…HELP!!

  11. CN says:

    Well I went temporarily bonkers. I went NC for five days after contacting him then broke down crying (we were together for five and a half years and went through so much together and had so much fun!) and text him I missed him and loved him. He sent me a message back asking how I was etc. Then we were in contact for two weeks, even meeting up (no sex just coffee and lunch). During the last time we met he told me that he keeps having sex dreams about me and he wants to spend every minute of every day with me. I asked him if he was seeing anyone else and he said he was surprised I’d even asked that question, he said it would take ‘years of therapy’ to get over me because he loved me so much. He said he had no intention of meeting anyone else. After he’d told me this, of course, I began to try and rush things. Telling him how much I missed him, telling him I loved him, telling him I wanted to get back together. Foolish, I know. He’s backed off a little with the contact since then, but because we were best friends as well as lovers I know he wants me to be OK with his decision (he has depression and, I think, is feeling guilty more than anything). I’ve decided to go NC again to regain some dignity and to show I’m not needy (it’s not attractive), then let what will unfold, unfold. I’m just hoping that the fact that he was missing me so much and dreaming about me so often and having the compulsion to see me is a sign that we can work things out in the future. In my heart it doesn’t feel like it’s over, but I’m terrified he’ll meet someone else so I have to work on me to be the person I want to be so if/when he does meet another woman, I’m not constantly comparing myself to her and drowned by my own jealousy. Do relationships normally end with so much contact? The one sign I’m sure tells me he’s trying to keep an emotional distance is the fact that he’s stop putting kisses at the end of his texts, but leaves them blank or puts smileys instead (a mute point, but I notice everything).

  12. craig says:

    i tried NC the first time it lasted 12 days and then she contacted me but i pushed to soon an started asking for another chance again i am now on 9 days no contact and i am going to stick at it till after christmas

  13. luna85 says:

    I NEED ADVICE OR AN OPINION I SHOULD SAY.
    MY EX AND I WERE TOGETHER FOR 10 MONTHS,IT WAS GREAT HE LOVED ME AND SO DID I, BUT I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE, I TOOK HIM FOR GRANTED, SO HE STARTED TO DISTANCE HIMSELF,SO DID I.ONE DAY HE SAYS”WE SHOULD GO SEPARATE WAYS”.I COULDNT BELIEVE IT, BUT I RESPECTED HIS DECISION, 2 DAYS LATER I FIND OUT HE IS SEEING SOMEONE , (I WENT CRAZY AND MADE ALL THE MISTAKES NOW I KNOW I SHOULDNT HAVE:PLEADING, BEGGINS, TXT, CALLS ETC), HE DENIED THE GIRL WHEN I ASKED(SAID SHE WAS A FRIEND). HE DOES THINGS WITH HER THAT WE USED TO DO TOGETHER (EATING OUT A LOT, SHOPPING ETC),EVEN CALLS HER CUTE NAMES HE USED TO CALL ME. THE POINT IS, THAT IT SEEMS AS IF THEY HAD BEEN TALKING FOR A WHILE, I BELIEVE HE DIDNT CHEAT ON ME, BUT HE JUMPED TO MAKE HIS RELATIONSHIP PUBLIC 2 DAYS AFTER WE BROKE UP. I WANT HIM BACK NO DOUBT.BUT HE IS EVEN TAKING HER AROUND HIS FRIENDS, AND I FEEL BETRAYED BECAUSE THATS WHAT WE USED TO DO TOGETHER, AND NOW SHE HAS WHATS MINE. CAN SHE BE A REBOUND?THEY HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A MONTH NOW,SO I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK, AFTER I MADE ALL THE MISTAKES, WE TALKED AND WE ARE FRIENDS, BUT IM AFRAID HE IS REALLY GOING TO GET INTO HER, SINCE IM NOT BEEN PUSHY AND WE DONT HAVE AS MUCH CONTACT. HE SAYS HE CARES ABOUT ME,BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?..HELP HELP HELP…AND HE ALSO SAID LAST TIME, HE DIDNT WANT TO TELL ME HE WAS SEEING HER BECAUSE HE DIDNT WANT TO HURT ME…
    PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK..THANKS )=

  14. iwashere says:

    I’m 18 and she is 17.
    Me and my ex were together for a year and ten months. we have been broken up for about a month and yesterday I had a serious talk with her. I’ve done practically all the mistakes that i could do to try to get her back and now i don’t know what to do. we spoke for three hours on new years eve and it was all serious i think the talk pushed her really really far away to the point of no return but i still feel that i can get her back. i got her to tell me what i did wrong in the relationship and i did not know i did it and didn’t notice i did it. She told me that i mentally and emotionally abused her. i have anger issues and i am now going to therapy to help me with my problem. i also have become lazy and less confident then how i started when we started going out. the talk we had yesterday was very grown up and i tried getting closure. i thought i did get that closure but i still want her i cant let her go. in the m3 system it tells me how to get through the front door and get that first date but what do i do after that first date. we use to live 5 blocks away but now since college she lives 100 miles away. i dont get how to gain back her trust in me cause i did that horribly scaring things and unforgettable things to her. I told her in case of emergency she could call me but only if its about her family if anyone got hurt or is in the hospital. at the end we told each other that we will miss each other and goodbye and i walked away. i dont know if this is important but she also told me that she was fine without a person in her life as long as she has her family and friends and also a good vibrator. she also said she was over me from the first week we broke up( and the first week she didnt tell me we were broken up). she also said she was opened to being gay but shes not attracted to women. i told her i didn’t want to be friends. our anniversary is in a month on 1/31.

    My questions are:
    1. How do i gain back her trust?
    2. She has closure but does she still want me and think about me?
    3. When i walked away does that count as accepting the break up and “placing that bomb” in her subconscious?
    4. since she told me she would miss me so does that mean i have more of a chance even though she said she moved on?
    5. how do i flirt with her through the phone or text? i don’t get the gist of it any advice? like for instance since i dont see her how can i compliment her?
    6. i have many more questions but i just want insight on my situation can you tell or suggest anything that will help me get her back?
    7. should i try to get her back before our anniversary or after? i want her before but i dont know how she would react. what would be the smart move?

  15. Daniel Burbank says:

    I had my doubts about Michael Griswald at first. A holler from a recovered sufferer in need, he IS a relationship expert. In desperation, I turned to the M3 program. I followed every step with an open heart, built my confidence and whaddya know. My ex is starting to fall head over heels with me, I’d go as far to say it’s a stronger attraction than it was when we first met! I know it’s not over and I have a few more steps to cover before we’re together again but I want to give out a shout to the man who showed me the way. Michael, your a great guy. I have no doubt that your advice was the key to bringing back the love. I may never meet you, but you have my deepest gratitude. Worth every penny and second of my time. Sincere thanks.

  16. tn says:

    Ok, so I went 3 weeks with NC/LC and then made the first call, short and too the point. 3 days later it worked! Well, sort of. I received a drunk text, then 2 apologetic texts for leaving the drunk text, and messages including “i miss you”, “you are phenomenal”, “i care about you”, “i am emotional”. I didn’t reply right away, trying to play it cool, but definitely feeling confused and hurt and longing for my ex. Am I right to feel this way? And what right do they have coming in and out of my life but not able to complete a real dialogue? Ive been waiting for this moment since our breakup but now feel a little weirded out about the response. Maybe I want my ex back, but definitely not in the same form of closed off conversations and mixed messages. How long do I play it cool and have short conversations until I start opening up difficult and important topics about a healthy relationship?

  17. Yarelis Rivera says:

    Guys, I need your opinion here. I just started the program today. I met and dated this guy for about a month and a half. But then about 2 weeks before he left me, his ex showed up out of nowhere asking him to get back together. We dont live in the same town which was a huge disadvantage for me. He started saying he was very confused because he had some history with her (only 3 months) and still cared, but that he liked me a lot too. So, he led me on for 2 or 3 weeks to finally choose her. Also, he made his decision without seeing me for a couples of weeks, which I think was unfair. He didn’t give himself or myself a chance to see if our feelings were real. I strongly believe he has some feelings for me even if they’re small (obviously, they weren’t strong enough to make him choose me), but refuses to admit it. He says “he knows what he wants (her)”. But the last time we spoke face to face he cut it short because, in his own words, “if he didn’t go he wouldn’t be able to stop himself, and it’s not just physical”. Later on that night I texted him and told him that after that incident, it was evident that he felt something, however big or small that feeling was. I told him that he should think about that and consider giving me the chance he denied me. He just replied saying “I think we need to stay friends.” What do you all think? Did I waste my money buying this program? Or do I stand a chance here?

    • Yarelis Rivera says:

      Me again…I had been trying to apply the no contact rule until today, when my ex texted me “How are you”. I replied about ten hours later saying “Saw that you texted me. Been really busy. Hope things are well.” He then replied “They’re really good. I just didn’t want to leave you in a bad way.” Of course, reading that “things are really good” was like being stabbed in the heart and lost my hope completely, because if you read above, I explain how he decided to go back to his ex. I did not reply. Two hours later he texted me again saying “guess I’ll talk to you later. Have a good one” I did not reply to that one either. Is this a lost cause? I am very much in love and I know he feels “something” for me but it’s not enough to choose me over his ex. Why won’t he let me be? Why does he keep insisting on being “friends” and leaving on a good note? Doesn’t he realize that rejecting and leaving me caused me enough damage already? Can somebody tell me is it that he wants from me? All my wounds were reopened. I am not doing all this so he can make peace with his conscience. I only want him back. It almost seems like he needs me to agree with his departure and “happiness” with the other woman in order to move on with his life and let me move on with mine. Why is he so selfish, that he needs to have the woman he loves and who loves him back, and still have me too, I who love him with all my heart but can’t have? What is up with all this? I truly hurt…….I can’t stop this pain and can’t stop my tears from rolling down my face…

      • ron ware says:

        im very sorry for your pain.
        i think you have summed it up when you say ”so he can make peace with his conscience”.
        if im honest, ive done that.. i never considered that i would be hurting her more. i still cared about her and my niceness needed to know that she was ok.
        i have to say, that reading what you wrote, you seem to have decided his motive. i wouls suggest that my motives good one (even if i wasgetting it wrong
        hope things work out
        ron

    • Chrissy says:

      I’m afraid to say that you might have wasted your money. You guys were not together long enough to really have any kind of history, etc.

      best of luck

  18. AA says:

    Hey guys,
    I am really confused right now as we were in a relationship for 5 years till now, but somehow I had a fight in his family which created certain disputes among us as well.. But still we were deeply in love.. I left for my further studies to a different country.. New environment, new friends and lots of new things diverted my mind.. I love him so much but was really confused of the long distance relationship.. we tried to stay in contact with each other but he became really possessive for me in just few days.. He tried to spy on me of what I was doing there through my colleagues.. That led us to various fights over the video calling.

    Then I had a crush on my colleague and i told him about it.. but it wasnt a crazy one.. just a normal crush.. I started behaving weird and tried to break contacts with him as i there was the family issue.. He texted me and called me in order to rekindlr the relationship but somehow due to studies I got a communication gap for a month.. Now when i realised my mistake and wants to be back with him. then he is connecting all the contacts with me..

    He says he is really shattered and cant trust me anymore and doesnt wants to stay in touch with me anymore.. He also tells me a bout a girl who likes him and he says he cant leave her because of me.. Im shattered to hear that.. as I never expected that he would move on so easily in his life despite being in a 5 years relationship..

    I tried calling him like crazy and texted him .. but he didnt respond to any of my messages nor he is picking up my calls.. what should I do now? I am really confused of the promises he made to me.. I seriously confused.. Help me if you can.. I Love him madly!

  19. Michael Iwanowski says:

    What if she sleeps with somebody in those 3 weeks and she admits it? it will be hard to regain trust again, but does she have the right to sleep with others if we broke up? I did the breaking and miss her…

  20. Walter Mott says:

    Hey everyone I need help. I was dating my ex gf for about 2 years on and off because all of the stupid decision I have made. I cheated, lied, was manipulative and selfish. She’s given chances after chances and now our most recent breakup I feel like this is really the end of it. I took her for granted and she is honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I just want her back to do everything the right way to get that spark back before I did everything I did. She wants nothing to do with me now. She wants me out of her life completely. Is there anyway at all that possibly I can get her back into my life? I feel so empty without her and that’s not because we are broken up but because she has given me 120% this past two years and really was my better half. I don’t want to loose her and ultimately I want to be the man she deserves the guy who will complement her and help her grow not bring her down. I need advice I was a big douche bag and idk of this is the end of us.

  21. TP says:

    Hi,
    My ex and me were together for 11 months we broke up a week ago and i still love him ssoo much.
    The problem is not that he doesn’t love me..but his parents don’t agree with the relationship.His father doesn’t even know,but they are from a different culture and my ex cannot decide who to marry because of this.
    He tells me i should find someone else wich of course isn’t the thing i want to hear..
    he called me on friday to ask how i was doing..and we both sounded death..i know he has a hard time too.
    today i couldn’t take it anymore and i told him i still find it very difficult because i love him to bits and i doubt i will ever feel this way for someone else.
    He text me back that he knows it’s hard but i should take time to come over it..and that he learned a lot from me for wich he was very grateful..My world fell apart when i read this..And surprisingly he called me just a few hours later over a cinemacard he wants to unsubscribe for that i still have..he wanted the registernumber so he could cancel it and asked me how i was doing..and i said bad then he sounded sad and i gave him the number.He said to take it easy and that we will talk to each other again..What should i think of this??I do believe he still loves me

  22. tisz tisha says:

    i dunno why this feelings… i think its the fourth times he is telling that he’s fed up and want to be single again..
    after being reconcialling…. but now i think he’s serious.. he even texted me during midnite … when he misses me i dunno why… since the day i knew from him that he has a babygirl… the day when he was drunk with his ex.. and they both slept together.. i were totally in pieces when i knew the bitter truth… i were 100 % sure that am going to break up with him… he texted me.. called me but i ignored him… the day he found me in town he came to meet me and asking me why i were not replying him.. in full concious i told him that he’s taking the truth like a sheet of paper flying unsystematically… he asked me that what am i going to do now.. in full anger i told him am not gonna Date a father.. he quietly moved at side and went away without a word… and i did not know what to do.. i retexted him and asked him to tell me the whole story about your ex and you.. Because i did not want to lose him.. My friends even told me to reject him cause he’s a father… but i dunno i thought that why he told me the truth.. he could have hide this from me.. and deep in my heart i told him am gonna forget all and we are going to redate again… but now its been 3 weeks he told me thats he’s want to be single.. and i just ignored him Because he told me that i Need him that’s why i am with him.. but this time thanks to NC and did not care about him… and he is out of my mind and he calling me again and again.. and i told him that Now Happy With Your Single Life… but to tht bottom i really loved but the fact that he used to hurt me again and again.. am starting to have a disguted feelings on him..

  23. Kevin says:

    Ok! So could really use some help with my situation. My wife and I were together for 7 yrs and married for 2 out of the 7. We have a beautiful 3 yr old daughter together that without her I don’t know how I would be able to get threw this. We have been seperated for about 2 1/2 months now. And I’ll can do is think about her in every aspect of my everyday life. We had a lot of different problems such as finances, communication, intamacy after having my daughter and trust which was on my end. Which I think the trust issue was a big issue that drove her away. So when this all began she completely cut me out of her life from blocking me and my family from her Facebook account changing her name on her account so she is nowhere to be found. She would not answer any of my calls or textsat all. Everything happened so fast and I felt like the life I built with my family was being ripped apart and I resented her for that. I did all the wrong things from begging for her back saying I would change and I could be better to being angry about how everything went down because how much effort I put into this. While also going through all this we tried staying in the house together in seperate rooms and she would retreat to her mothers house every weekend which is 2 hrs away. During that time period I finally said that I needed to get away from her cause at that time she wanted to act like everything was normal for my daughter but no emotions involved at all. So I at that time I started staying at my parents house which I really didn’t want to go back there but I couldn’t stay in the same house and not have feelings for her. While staying there my mind ran in circles trying to think how it all came to this and what mistakes did I make to let it get to this point. Also we have a lot of mutual friends so I was asking advice from everyone and trying to find out any information I could about her. That’s when all the Facebook stuff happened because all of it got back to her and she thought that my parents were feeding me information about what she was doing but really they weren’t. So after a few weeks and some advice from my parents I filed for joint custody. Because they had the feeling that she was trying to move to her moms with my daughter. So when she came back I finally came back that next week I broke the news to her about filing which she was angry with me for not talking about it before filing. So again we aren’t talking for a a couple weeks. In those two weeks the house going up for short sale she seperated phone accounts and I seperated my bank account. Next comes the biggest blow ever! She finally tells me that there is nothing here for her and she wants to move to her moms and wants to take my daughter so she wanted to come up with an agreement so we would have equal time with ours daughter but she would reside with her mother like I said 2 hrs away. I was devestated to hear this I didnt know what to do. So she wrote up an agreement stating she would reside with her mom and I would get my daughter 3 weekends a month. She painted this great picture that she was going to get her life together where her support was at. So great not only am I losing my wife now my daughter. At first I said no but after she convinced me it was the best thing and that’s all I ever wanted for her I signed the papers thinking that maybe one day she would come back. Well after signing them I was quickly resented by my family but she was so greatful and appreciative and said that she would help me stifle things my family and help me with anything I needed. So a week goes by and I really thought about it and I was so angry at myself for what I had done. Because I was fool for thinking that would ever happen if we in different zip codes. So I went to a lawyer and she said if I let my daughter go I would never get her back. So I quickly hired her because I could never let that happen I have been there since day 1. Anyways we went to mediation last week and the agreement was thrown out. Know we go to court which it’s gonna get ugly but all I want is my daughter in my life. I know I will win the case cause she is established here but now I’m getting backlash from her family for deceiving them. But that aspect is not about them it’s about my daughter. So two nights ago I dropped off my daughter after my wife finally calmed down about everything and I was trying to be in and out of there so we wouldn’t go into any legal stuff I couldn’t talk about. But she said she wanted to talk about things. So we talked about stuff and I apologized for doing what I did with deceiving her but it wasn’t about her anymore. Then we start talking about our relationship and I spoke with a level head and apologized for a lot of the things I did wrong and if I could change them I would and I was sorry for any hurt I put her threw. She told me she told me when we were together how she felt the infamous I love u but I’m not in love anymore. And that she just wanted to be friends but doesn’t want anything more which I can’t do the friend zone thing at this point. So I guess what I’m trying to ask is where do I go from here?? I love my wife so much!!! She is my best friend and the greatest thing that ever happened to me and I really want to make this work. And once I give her that slight hint of being a friend she spills everything like she has been waiting for me to talk to her. Recently I started trying the NC unless it’s about my daughter or previous finances. It may be to late to do this as all this is going on. I’ve been working very hard on trying to change myself from inside out. But I feel like the damage is done. Is being friends a bad thing or should I keep away for awhile?? Also I recently found that she was seeing someone like two weeks after we seperated. I feel like there is nothing I can do about that at this point. How can I change her aspect of me being a friend and reignite the great connection I know we have together. Any words of advice would help PLEASE!!

  24. michelle says:

    My ex-boyfriend dumped me 4 months ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him.I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me.I was so confuse and don’t know what to do,so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness.I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that,we are about to get married.once again thank you ultimate spell.you are truly talented and gifted Email:ultimatespelltemple@gmail.com is the only answer.he can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man ultimatespelltemple@gmail.com

  25. Map says:

    Can this still happen after she has told you, she doesn’t want to see you anymore after hurting her and the trust has gone for me for what I done? My ex girlfriend is a single mother of two and she said that the relationship was raw between us and she just wants to have a peaceful life and enjoy it with her kids and friends.

  26. BW says:

    Guys i need your help!!!
    My boyfriend split up with me a couple of weeks ago now he said he couldnt trust me (even though i havent done anything for him not to trust me) . I did the usual crying to him, begging him to come back. This did not work obviously. i am ashamed of how i reacted to be honest. After all this every day since we broke up we have seen each other or been on the phone to each other. Also when we have seen each other i have slept with him (only beacuse i miss him and thought that would help but it didnt) He always contacts me first and tells me he misses me and he still loves me. I found out a week or two after we had broke up he was picking this other girl up in his car and driving around with her when we was together . I was devested about this, i confronted him about this and he admitted everything to me ‘saying theres nothing going on’ I love him that much i cannot be mad at him and i would put that to the back of my head and make things work. I came across the M3 System sunday and was reading about the no contact rule. I tried this that night but gave in after the 5th phonecall and talk to him for about half an hour on the phone. Then monday night came and i screened every single one of his calls and text that night i had 27 missed calls and 5 texts on my phone. The next morning he showed up at my house and wanted to spend the day together ( so i thought yes i got him back) This was not the case. Wednesday night i had phone calls and i didnt answer to them. The thing is i work with him so my No contact rule can only get so far until i see him at work) I saw him at work thrusday he was been so nice. saw him at work today he was been so nice and then changed and became nasty and defensive. I dont understand. I know he still cares because he told me he doesnt want me to move on and he doesnt want to move on. So why ant we back toegther? i asked the same question too. Getting him to get in contact with me is not the problem its getting him to want me again. I have tried all of Michaels theorys No contact, talking to him on my terms, confidence.. You name it i have done it. All of my friends have told me to leave it, but i cant beacuse i know he still has feelings for me but i just cannot get him to commit to me again. All his family tell him i was great for him and that we should get back together, In june we are going to scotland toegther just me him and his family. He told me today he still wants me to come and i really want to go too and i told him i would. i need help can anyone tell me what to do next? i cant just leave it i want us to get back together and to get back together strong. Please help! x

  27. Mona Lisa says:

    Hi everyone! My fiance and I had been together for almost 11 years and are supposed to be married this October. Just 2 weeks ago, i sent him out of our house because I could no longer take his cheating habits. I’ve discoved that he’s been cheating on me for the past 4 months with his colleague who has a child with her previous relationship. I started to notice his change almost 3 mos ago. He started coming home late, partying and drinking. And when he’s out he doesn’t answer my calls. These period of our relatioship has caused too much emotional and mental stress on me as he says that he loves me, and he just enjoys his friends company stressing out that no other woman is involved. But i had this feeling that something is wrong so i made my investigation and found out the painful truth. When me and my family confronted him (we both stay with my Mom and my cousins). After learning the confrontation,he asked forgiveness from me and my Mom but after that he still goes to the other woman. My family has been so good to him and his family. And this is all he gave in return, to fool us and disrespect me and my family. On set of the discovery of his affair he’s asking for space and wants to move out of our place. And me being so afraid of losing the love of my life , my first and only love, I stop him from doing so, begging, pleading and asking him to stay and work things out. This time he promised that he’ll finish everything between him and the other woman. The next day everything went well. The day after he was 2 hours late from coming home, and I’m sure where he came (the other woman works in the same place as he is and lives just few minutes from their work place). At that very moment, I was at my wits end and talking to my Mom. And i told myself i need to decide now or suffer for the rest of my life. So I packed all his stuffs and placed it outside our door so he need not to come in and tell me lies again. When he arrived at our doorstep and found his stuffs he called my Mom asking why we are sending him away, he called me next asking me why so I told him that I’m gving him the freedom he wants and for him to be with his other woman whom obviously he can’t leave. So that day he left and ended our relationship and learned that he went straight to the other woman’s house and stayed there for good. He was even telling me and my family that he’ll prove to us that he has not done anything wrong but he proved the other way around.. 2 days later he sent message to my Mom asking for her forgiveness and for our family to accept him again. He also gave me miscalls but never tried to call me. next day he sent an SMStelling me that he misses me, how much he loves me and for me to forgive him if ever he has done something wrong, But I never responded to his messages or miss calls. And 5 days later he sent an SMS asking for his flight tickets which i booked for him for 3 straight days. But only sends 1 message a day which is just like a reminder that he’s waiting for his flight ticket. After 3 days i still did not reply and he never contacted any of us anymore. We are both working overseas with my family and he’s about to have his annual vacation back in our country at the end of the month. Please help me on what to do. I miss him very much and i badly want him back. Your advices will help a lot. Thanks

  28. gforce says:

    I dated this guy for a month straight ..the one. Day to another dropped me like a bad habit.i really fell for him because he is fun..funny and seems smart. I especially like him because I felt instantly safe and comftorable around him…but he did dump me.His reasoning was that he didn’t want to interfere with my dream of ever having another. Child..(which I said I wouldn’t mind having..not that it was my dream.I respected his choice to part but we have always kept contact. After 2 years I finally got a chance to see him again.we went on a lunch date and watched a movie at his home. He did not try even holding my hand and I didn’t try either(fear of being too aggressive) I have received non cholant messages and when I asked what he thought appearance wise of me he just said I loomed the same..didnt( compliment me) I realize that I only know how I feel but can’t help wishing he would think of me as I of him. I have made a choice to no longer initiate the texting conversations with him…but is their really no hope?

  29. SoxMan says:

    So folks here’s my situation. I became friends with a divorced lady from work and it progressed to more. We haven’t had sex, but only because I didn’t have protection. But, now things are different. I get mixed signals constantly . One moment she’s flirty, the next she’s guarded and aloof. She seems to shoot down all of my ideas, but then ask me to do something when it’s her idea. I really care about her, but don’t want to be the rebound guy. The other day, I was pushing a bit to see her, and she’s says to me” I’m not your GF, and you’re not my BF. I need my space too.” she’s told me she’s not ready for anything serious, but then the other day I get on match.com and low and behold she’s on there and is one of my matches. We only see each other 3 days out of 2 week schedule at work. It’s been 4 days with NC. I’m determined to stick with the 3 weeks NC/LC. But what is my next move if she asks me what’s wrong, or wants to do something. I’ll see her at work Monday.

  30. Hailey says:

    My ex and I dated for 2 and a half years… He is in the military reserves and goes one weekend out of every month to workout, etc. We are 19 and we dated in high school and continued during my first year in college. He is attending college this fall for only 2 years at a community college… He found a job and is working while doing a lot around his house and dealing with his parents. We broke up about a month and a half ago, but the break up is hard to explain. We had to talk on the phone because we were 300+ miles away and had no other way of talking or getting together for the breakup. He told me that he wasn’ t happy where our relationship was because we were both SUPER stressed and that’s all we talked about… He said he loves me with all his heart, but I need to mature and not be so insecure. He said we are destined to be together, have kids, get married, etc., but just not right now, we are too young. We both agreed we need this break to get to know ourselves and figure out our lives and stuff.

    He told me that he doesn’t want me to find someone else and date them.. he just wants me to live life and not be so serious right now. We both had promise rings and he even bought me an iphone for my bday and pays for it each month. If we were closer, things would be easier no doubt. He was planning on moving near me, but it was a huge step financially and it couldn’t happen. We love eachother so much, and people keep saying “if you truly love eachother you’ll find a way to be together.” Well… I am frustrated with that because that CAN be true, BUT sometimes you love someone so much that you have to let them go so you can have them back when they figure out themselves (this can’t normally be done when you’re in a relationship). He is lost, and is trying to get through life right now, and he’s not happy with the way things are going.

    My question is this. We didn’t talk much about a week or two so after our break up, but he called me and texted me every day for the past two weeks while he was at training. Everything felt normal with our “i love you’s.” I am confused because I had an emotional day and kinda let myself spill on him over the phone, which showed my insecurities. :( he said I need to go find a bf, but I know he doesn’t want that AT ALL. I know he is friends with a girl that has a bf, and they have been hanging out. They work together, and live in the same town. I don’t compare myself to her because she looks nice, but is not very attractive or his ‘type’ must I say. Plus, she has a bf. He said they kissed once or twice a while ago but he never mentioned any feelings that were strong towards her. What do I do? I am trying to do NC again for a while and let him call me…

  31. heartbroken says:

    Hi i know this is an old post but i hope somebody will help me!! Me and my ex did no contact and it was going well and 2days after the break up he got intouch with me :D i was so chuffed and we began limited contact for about 6 days .. I met up with him on wednesday for a cinema trip and ended up back at his .. Since then he said he wanted to see how it goes and take it slow which is what i wante to as i hurt him and want to.make sure that we get on omay! .. Today friday he hasnt really been in touch but im fine about it probably busyand im trying to rebuild trust a.d not jump to conclusions :) tben i see he addef a girl on facebook but i didnt mind until he txt me and rang me i thaught he was ringing to appologise for not getting in touch but he rang to shout at me for adding this girl .. I didnt know id added but i appologised and he said it was fine but he didnt want me causing shit and i said sorry i didnt mean to .. I told my mum as she asked who was on tbe phone and she then txt him telling him to bacl off and they ended uparguing him and my family have had isdues for a while.. I txt him saying ignorevthe txt and he said to me no its over for good and i couuldnt understand this isnt my falt :s they both said nasty things but ibwish my mum could be happy that we were trying things and respect me by not getting involved as this is a reason why we broke up due to others getting invovef in the relationship :s now ive messed up.withvthe love of my life again and i dont want to go against mu family but they just provef him right with everything he has said to me!! I th need to start the no cantact again:s i love him and need him in my life .. We were going out 3 years and broke up once before about 2 months ago coz i was nagging he cheated butvwe sorted it i forgave him thaught i did anyway and then we argued one day 10 days ago i lashed out at him but i got help and no tat i can now be the girl he loved and he was giving me another chanse till the txting between him and my mum tonight .. Please help me get my baby boy back he is my world and tonight was nothing to do.with me but i think it was the final straw!! HELP xxxx

  32. heartbroken says:

    Its me again please get back to me after i wrote yestuday i yxt my ex pretending to be my mum appologisinhboff my phone and said that i dont expect or want a reply but if so contact my phone ad mine is off meaning my mums is .. It was a txt that was a sorry but also saying she is fine abouy everything she just protecting me . My problem is i dont kbow weatger sending the appology will even help as he seemed sure that this was it this time . Im meeting his mum for a drink latet today not to adk her about my ex but to appologise and chat coz i was a rubbish girlfriend and took her son for granted. His broher said last night that he my ex knowscwhat jappenedclast night wasnt my falt but this is what i was scared of my family getting involved coz when we met ip he saidca reason why i dont think we will work again is coz of them and they have proved him right … I dont know wat to say or do .. I dont want to get in touch and feel like im presuring him but we had come such a long way and now im back at square one vecause my family didnt rwsprct me when i said please do not get involved .. I hope he can firgive me AGAIN but

    im not very hopeful but he said when i phones him a coupple of days ago he dowlesntvwantbitvto be the end oc us but now i think he will .. please jelp me .. I live in the uk and cannot afford anyof the systems and losing all hope i know its possible to get him back i just dobt know how to go about it correctly? Aby Advise will help me i just feel every minute im sat here thats a minute that im losing him and wpuld die for him and give up everything for him .. He wouldnt want me to but o would my family have aan unconditional love for me and his may be slowly slipping away .. I need him please help me save this .. He is 20 next year and was planning a suprise party for him as he never had one and now its all wrecked .. Should i still plan it? I bave a gut feeling he may stillvgive me a chanse butveverything else is saying otherwisw but he is my truee love abd even he always says about being soal mates and how hecwill probsbly never get over me plse help me get him back x

  33. Jordan says:

    I was with my gf for 2 1/2 yrs and i guess like any guy i took her for granted, i love her and know shes the one but she broke up with me and stated my promises are bs and i dnt seem serious. I asked her if we were engaged if we still would be she said yes. How can a girl who told you i want to grow old with you break up with you and start talking to her complete opposite of a guy? And she stated she loves me but not inlove. Its been a week since weve talkd i left a voicemail a day ago saying i agree with this and im embarassed on how i was to her and hope i can become a betterman from this situation.

  34. Joa20 says:

    Hello There,
    I need your help cause i’m so confused right now.. I know that he loves me immensly and here i’m dying for him too but hes ago is so much also..He broke up with me because he told me that he is too jealous and also that i’m actually in my new job that he don’t like but i need to work….so feeling jealous and thinking of all sorts of craps is killing him and so he don’t lime that kind of feeling and it’s better for him to break up with me… But i don’t understand when you’re so jealous of someone obvioulsy when not being with that person will make you feel worst !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Anyway it’s been 17 days since we are applying the no contact.. I mean I’m doing that cause usually i’m the one who sends txt all day long.. so it’s been 2 weeks already and my BF is not showing any sign…But i dont want to be the one making the first move as usual…I want him to miss me , to feel my absence in his life..

    I don’t know what to do if this continue like this, shoul i go on with the no contact… may be 2 weeks of no contact is too early for him to feel something ???

    I need advice ..plz help :(

  35. DB says:

    I have been with my partner for just over 2 years, it has been a great 2 years, it certainly had its up & downs, but majority of the time it was great. He pursued me in the beginning and would pretty much do anything to win me over. We moved in together about 8 months in to our hot & heavy relationship, things as they do start to become a little routine & not as spontaneous as when you didn’t live together, don’t get me wrong, we were still very much in love. It probably started about 4 months ago, I noticed he became more negative, he seemed unsettled, not as happy, we started fighting over meaningless things and he began to distance himself. Being a female I began to feel insecure & suspicious that maybe he had met somebody else, he hadn’t, well I don’t think he had. We finally had a massive blue & he told me that he had been offered a job overseas and that he felt he wasn’t ready to commit anymore (he sold me the dream in the beginning whilst winning me over) he has all of a sudden done a 360 & decided to apply and leave for overseas (we are both in our early 30′s, so not that young anymore) it was never an invitation for me to come along, but he also knew I couldn’t with my career being here. On hearing all of this it ripped me apart, I couldn’t believe I was hearing this, that he wanted to throw everything away for an overseas job (that wouldn’t pay him more). I eventually moved out and got a place on my own, got myself therapy and am working on getting past this horrible feeling. I’ve never had my heart broken before, it’s so hard to get my head around all of this. Of course when this all happened I did the usual begging, texting, writing email even letters & even embarrassingly enough I made him a youtube clip (I cringe at the thought of it) and too not surprise this made him want to cut all contact with me. So I accepted that and deleted his number, emails everything piece of contact we had ever had. I then went on a girly holiday for a week to refresh… It’s been around 2 months now, I had not contacted him, as hard as it was, I resisted. It wasn’t until about 2 weeks ago, he contacted me to see how I was going and to sort out a few things we still had tied together. We decided to meet up, we had a drink and then I told him I couldn’t see him anymore as it was too hard for me, he understood and we left it at that. Throughout the next few days, I would get the occasional text, with something that he really didn’t need to contact me about, with our usual little icons we use to send to each other. As mind f**king as it is to get these, it gives me that little bit of hope that he wants to get back with me. I am playing it very cool and not giving any of this away, I want him to feel as though I have moved on. He doesn’t leave for this job until the end of November. Basically I am asking for some advice on whether he is just using me until he has to leave or whether he is starting to rethink the whole breakup and considering not taking this job offer. I don’t want to act to cool and risk loosing him forever, then on the other hand I don’t want to force anything incase I push him away. Or do I just move on with my life and use this whole experience as a learning and growing experience.
    Words of wisdom??

  36. emily says:

    what happens if he talks to u what should i say

  37. Jessica says:

    How do I effectively do this when there are children involved? I have not spoken to my ex for a few weeks now but yesterday I texted him telling him his daughter wanted him to call her, she was crying for him. He does not currently have a phone so we cannot get a hold of him as we please. He responded to my text informing me that he would have a phone number very soon and when he does he will call and give me the number. He also tried to make small talk about how boring his training was that he was currently in in which I didn’t feed into, as I think he was trying to have me ask about his new job. I also know he has a new girlfriend that he may be staying with but he made sure to mention his current living arrangments(which are supposedly at his mothers house) via text. He has texted me a few times during the last few weeks telling me about his new car and good things that he is accomplishing in which again I did not respond to. Not sure how to take this all! Anyhow most importantly I guess I just need some advice on the NC rule when there are kids involved.

    Thanks!

  38. Rashi says:

    i love my boyfriend so much…..2yrs ago he suddenly said that he wants to break up with me….then i had no word to say…then i continue relation with friend……then i know he love someone…which was his bestfriend…..then after 8 months he said to me with cring that they have break up…but untill he did not create relationship again…but continued my friendship……then after some months he said that he wanted girlfriend from me…….then i looking for him a girl…….after this i can not control myself….i am very sad after this….i am crying &pleaded but he does not want any relation with me……i am very very upset….but the girl also my friend though she did not…..please tell me anyone what should i do to get him back???????

  39. prashanth says:

    as usually, my girl friend broke up with me. bcoz she didn felt good with me as we moved on with the relationship. actually she wasnt to speak to me in college and she wasnt to tell atleast hai.. her condition was that,, i should not speak with her in college. but she had a friend near to her home. he was of the same class of her and same branch. but i was in another branch and i wasnt in her class. we both get into the relationship but the relationship didn sustained for atleast 6months. she was to go in bike with her friend and she was to move closely with him and as i didn like all these things and i started putting conditions to her as she should not go with him and all. first of all i got doubted that “is he really friend or boy friend?” she wont talk to me and she will go on his bike. i didn knew the answer for this and i thought that i got cheated and she has lied me. even now i dont know knw the answer for this. she had told I LOVE YOU for only once. but we had met for 5 times. but i even didn kissed her. she was to tell about her personal things like menstruation cycle. iam still in the same confusion that, was she really in relationship with me or she was to act like that? what ever the past may be, i didn cheated her. and i loved her with true feelings. almost more than one year have passed from our break up. but even now i love her. i will text her a lot that i have feelings for her still now and iam sincere for her. but she wont reply and if i do phone call, then she will cut it off. please help me in getting my lost love back..

  40. CC says:

    How do you do the no contact rule after you have done it and then they came back and they want you but they really are not ready. I feel like a yoyo and I cannot do it anymore but I truly love my ex and we have been apart for 8 months now and I cannot seem to let him go -and neither can he apparently. But I told him a few weeks ago that I could not do the grey zone anymore he had to be in my life or out of it and he said in and then asked me on a date the next week and it was great -just like a date in the early stages of a relationship but also with mention of the good bits of our past -most all was good he seemed to crack one day after a bad custody hearing and feeling like we could not have the life he felt I deserved he left me as some attempt to save me. He has not once stopped saying he loves me but how long do I wait -im trying not to wait and he knows it I have made many changes to my life but I do feel he is my soulmate and my true love Im 36 so this is not puppy love. But he seems to think we are ok right now but were not I need more and I feel so paralized to tell him I dont want to leave him. I told him to leave me alone and ignored him for months he just never stopped he keeps saying he is confused and dosent want to hurt me. but no matter what I say he never really lets go, just now it feels he’s not really here and I dont know if its fear or I am just a fool. I do know my heart was broken and it seems to keep breaking and the moment I heal some he is back and begging. Do I tell him I cannot do this and not to contact me anymore and block his calls, IMs and defreiend him on Facebook?

  41. Mark Galary says:

    I have been in a storybook romance with my dreamgirl for the last 3 months. We dated when we were 16 then went our seperate ways and both got married and divorced. After not seeing each other for 20 years we ran into each other and instantly fell in deep love. We would stare each other in the eyes and kiss for hours on end. She would tell me, her friends and family and anyone she could how perfect I was. After a night of crying cuz she was so happy with me and telling me she couldn’t live without me she dumped me by text the next day. I did speak with her a couple times and she tolld me crying she did love me and tried to nc me cuz she knew if she did talk or see me she would cave. She said when she sees me evrything changes. Then we set a date to see each other and she never showed. Now I can’t get her on the phone and can rarely get her to respond to a text. Its been about 3 weeks since we broke up. I’m wondering if I actualy have a chance to be with my dreamgirl again or am I just fooling myself. I am in the process of getting the platinum system right now and gibibg it my best effort. I can’t give up no matter how long it takes. I just don’t know about the nc thing. She is very beautiful and smart and I know it won’t take long for her tp find someone else. The only thing I feel I have onmy side is that we have a long history and we know each other very well. Anyone have any thougjts?

  42. heather says:

    I and my boy friend as been separated for a long period, I cam across different spell caster and they were all unable to bring my lover back. I was so sad and almost gave up on him when i met a spell man that helped me get my lover back. Ever since then i have been so happy and couldnt believe it would happen. He also helped me with success spell, I have been living happily with my lover now and will be getting married soon. Here is his contact if you need his help. templeofvadoo@gmail.com

  43. Kirsty says:

    Okay me and my boyfriend broke up 2 months ago. I did the begging then. I did try to use reverse psychology after and believe me it worked! I had him back in 3 weeks. We were together for about 3 weeks. But I was becoming to full on and needy cause his lack of interest and I was desperate to move back in. So he became distant and ended it. Last night he asked if he could come and see my nephews I said yes.
    When he left I told him they were confused and I had to explain we are not boyfriend and girlfriend to them.
    He said sorry for coming down , my reply don’t worry I’m over it. He asked why and if I have found someone else. I said been asked on a date, and he then said wants to be with me but doesn’t think it will work.
    I couldn’t sleep last night so messaged him if he was awake. He asked me to stay the night. I turned up and said to him if you want me to wait and see how things go I will. He then agreed took his time to though.
    Well things happened….we cuddled in went shopping in the morning. But he only gave me a kiss good bye. Not interested in holding hands or giving a kiss.
    So I’m a tad confused he still isn’t showing interest but still wants me as he says, but I need to build my trust and build up to make him want me. It’s hard :( .

  44. Zack Savage says:

    I just recently broke up with my Ex. We met up when we broke up and she said she needed time. Well sure enough she was still calling me and texting me. Not a lot but a little bit, but when she would call she would be angry or sounded like she hated me. So just the other day when we talked on the phone I told her I dont want to be with her anymore becuase she made me feel like crap. I still want to get back with her but Im not sure if I did the right thing by telling her we werent meant to be together. She calls everynow and then, when she calls shoud I just not answer and wait three weeks? or should I answer when she calls or texts? Advice would be nice. Thanks

  45. Ben says:

    Three years and now she blocked my number, email and facebook?
    Help

  46. India Love says:

    Hi!
    Please help me; this is constantly on my mind and I’m going crazy..!

    I have a very long and complicated question, that I really hope you can help me with, before I make myself mad..
    I’ll try to keep it short though:

    In 2007 I met a really great guy (I was 24, he was 25)
    He was actually a friend of one of my ex boyfriends (which I later learned was kind of hard for him)
    Anyways; we got together as boyfriend and girlfriend, and everything was amazing.
    And I mean amazing!
    We could speak about everything, we loved the same stuff, sex was great and so on and so on.
    The attraction was radiating!

    One day, after 8 months, he broke it off with me and I didn’t understand anything.
    He just told me it didn’t work, and left.
    I was heartbroken like never before; I had finally been able to see myself getting married down the line (we even talked about kids; and it wasn’t me who brought up these things, it was him)
    After a week he asked me to have a talk, and then he revealed to me that he had been stupidly drunk one night and two of my girlfriends had hitted on him and appareantly they ended up in bed… Needless to say my sorrow was beyond this world. I had no one; had lost both my boyfriend and my two closest girlfriends.
    The thing is that no one who knows this guy could believe it. He has never been the one night stand type of guy, and his friends came to me to tell me they knew he absolutely loved me and they understood even less than me, cause he was just not that type of guy.
    He never had to tell me about him cheating; I would never have found out.
    Based on his honesty and knowing that this was really untypical of him, I decided we should give it another try.
    At this point he told me he wanted to live with me, get a cat, go grossary shopping, he would stay at home every weekend if that was what it would take, the list goes on and on; he just wanted to be with me.

    In the beginning it was good, but after his betrail I had serious issues, mostly about his feelings towards me.

    This spiraled into us “trying” on and off for a looong time.
    In restrospect I now see that I was way to insecure and scared of losing him.
    I was needy and I now know all the things I did wrong…
    It’s terrible to think I have wasted my chance with the guy I still in my heart think of as The One..

    After trying to break it of several times (the both of us) because it didn’t work, he finally told me this summer that it was over.
    Then we hadn’t seen each other for about a month, because we both had been travelling (but we still had contact, and even with him busy across the world, he told me he was thinking of me)
    In my head I must admit I thought to myself “ok, here we go again”, but he actually didn’t make contact with me this time.
    We had agreed that we would tell each other if we found someone else, just as a curtesy to the other, and about a month after he told me he had met someone.
    I was still severly heartbroken for losing him, and our conversation didn’t end so good..
    He blocked me from FB and so on. This was in September, he and this girl apperantly started things in June. But I heard from a friend of his that he had me as a screensaver on his phone at the same time..

    I later learned that the girl he was talking about was a girl he had known almost his entire life, and that he actually had been with 15 (!) years ago or so.
    They don’t live in the same country and they had hooked up when she was visiting home one weekend.
    She then went back to her country (she is studying there) and it seems they have “agreed on their relationship” online after a while.
    I know for a fact that she has been after him for several years, without him showing much interest.
    He now has left for 1,5 months to visit her, and as far as I understand their plan is to move in together when she moves back here in march.

    I am trying to move on with my life, but this whole ordeal with this guy is constantly on my mind.
    I am flirting with guys, and generally happy, but I can’t let this go!
    I was so sure of him being IT..

    To make matters worse, I asked him to have a coffee with me as a friend, a while after I learned about this girl.
    (about one month after, in a light tone)
    Just because we left things not so great, and because he had told me we might be able to stay friends and I missed talking to him.
    He then told me he didn’t want to talk to me, that he had to think of himself, that I should know that what he had done was hard on him and that I never should ask again and so on..

    My question is this:
    What is he thinking…?
    I mean; I was the first girl he had ever lived with, he told me several times that he could see us growing old together and starting a family, that he never had such a great girlfriend, and one of the last things he said to me was that I was an amazing girl that deserved so much better.
    Is his feelings for this girl real you think..? After almost 30 years of knowing her and one weekend of hooking up, then living in separate countrys for 2 months? And after telling me all of these things and them trying to be together once before?

    I dream of us meeting one day and being able to start things all over again, with me having learned my lesson about re-assuranse and needyness…
    I find it hard to believe that he is in love with this girl, I think it’s him just trying to distract himself. A rebound?
    Or am I delutional…?

    What’s your opinion on this..?
    Please help me; I’m going crazy!

    And do you have any tips on easing into his life again?
    I really miss him, even if it’s just talking to him like a friend.

    And do you think I am completely forgotten..?

    Haven’t talked to him in over a month, after him telling me that he didn’t want to talk to me,
    (except a text regarding some of our things, in wich he replied in a polite manner, but nothing more)
    and haven’t seen him since june.
    Help!

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